Ask The Rabbi
Rabbi Benyamin Yosef
Dear Get-less in New York
As per your request, I did speak with your husband. You forgot to tell me many things.
You forgot to tell me how you slandered him in various newspapers on multiple
occasions. How you continually denied him his children to the point that the civil court
judge put you in jail. How you absconded with the children for almost two years causing
the civil court to issue an arrest warrant for you. How you made continual false
accusations of child abuse & neglect. How that after your husband obtained sole
custody, you conspired with the youngest child ordering him to run away from fathers
house which caused the child to spend over a year ‘parent-less’ in a non-Jewish foster
home. But, worst of all; you’ve taught your children thievery, hatred, and vindictiveness.
You have totally damaged your children. No amount of counseling can fix what you
caused and it is evident that you are still not done.
You need to understand; no matter how many times you call yourself an agunah, you
are NOT an Agunah. You are a common thief, a gonnif. You stole money and
possessions from your husband, you stole his children, you stole from people who
believed they were giving real charity and you stole from friends and relatives. How do
you live with yourself on Yom Kipper?
I was truly appalled and sickened that she enlisted and involved her children to help
create an advertisement in the Jewish Press Newspaper of July 14, 2006 (18 Tammuz
5766) among other papers, requesting Tzedakah (Charity) from people in the name of
her children. How sad that she lied to procure funds from people who thought they were
giving to a real charity, when in fact, she just didn’t want to spend her own money.
Collecting over $50,000 dollars in made-up charity!
Collecting charity on false pretenses and involving her children is wrong on so many
levels. Again, this just shows her inherent nature for thievery. She needs to contact
everyone who gave her charity and return their money immediately; but we know she
will never do this.
You are the type of woman no man would ever want, so a GET would really do you no
good. No man would ever want you after the things you have done. You will always be
alone and die alone. After speaking with your husband who has since remarried and
has moved on with his life; surprisingly holds no grudge or hatred, he only insists that
you follow Halacha, which is obviously something that you cannot do.
I advised your husband that before he gives you a get, that you must do ‘Teshuva’
(repentance) for what you did: you need to reimburse your husband, you need to fix the
damage you caused between your husband and children, you need to apologize to
everyone that you caused to be involved in this calamity. You would need to also
publicly apologize for smearing your husband’s name. Basically, you need to put things
back like they were before you went to civil court. I also reminded your husband that
according to Talmud Baba Kama, you would be required to pay double if not more for
your thievery.
Your children know you left your husband and filed in civil court. They will be scared
every night of their life believing that you might abandon them just like you did your
husband. How much more so since you picked your husband and did not actually
choose your children.
So go ahead and keep calling yourself an Agunah, keep calling your husband a
recalcitrant husband, and keep calling his request for reimbursement, blackmail or
extortion. You are a Gonnif (thief), your stolen money will only hurt you and your bones
will weaken until the day you die, alone. You have proven yourself to be an atrocious
wife, a terrible parent, and a hypocritical Jew.
You give true agunot a bad name. Obviously to you, money and hurting people
including your children are more important than a get. You have caused your children,
and likely your children’s children irreparable damage with no signs of remorse. I have
asked your husband for permission to print your name. For this moment, he has said:
“Not yet.”
Rav Yosef
Some letters have been been edited for sake of readability.